What do you really want?
Have you asked yourself this question before?
Is the answer, Happiness, peace, riches.... certainly no one says chaos, confusion, frustration, anger, and yet, that is what most people are settling for.
When you are people pleasing, and going through the motions of what you think you are 'SUPPOSED' to do you will never find peace there.
Discovering what you really want AND don't want is where you will find peace. It starts with being completely honest with yourself.
Certainly we can sit down and write lists of future goals and achievements that sound great. Having goals is great, I encourage that. That's not really what I'm talking about. This is something deeper, something that can guide us in daily decisions. We can think we know what we desire most when we are just going through the motions. Truly knowing oneself and being able to navigate through each day with clarity and confidence that we know our wants and don't wants is where peace can be found.
I believe this coincides with boundaries, for we cannot set healthy boundaries without know what we want and don't want, what we choose to live with and what we choose to NOT live with.
It isn't always easy to recognize either of these. I found myself in a dilemma recently. I thought there was a situation in my relationship that if it was true that I would be totally fine with. We would just need to talk it through, but I would be ok with it. After bringing up the subject and saying that IF this were true that I would be totally fine with it, I ruminated for 3 days. I mopped around the house, found myself lost in thought, couldn't accomplish the smallest of tasks without feeling exhausted. I began to look around at my 'things', decorations, clothes, furniture....I kept saying to myself, 'I DON'T WANT THAT, OR THAT OR THAT....' It took me 3 days to realize that what I really didn't want was this situation in my relationship to be true and if it was, I THAT was what I didn't want! I had no control over whether or not this situation would be true in my relationship, but I knew if it was that I no longer wanted that relationship. As scary as that was to admit to myself, I was terrified to admit that to my partner. Once I admitted my truth, no matter the consequence, there was instant relief. It was my truth and what I wanted/didn't want for my life.
There is peace when you are honest with yourself!